waywardism:

“I prayed to you, Cas. Every night.”

“I know.”

“You know? And you didn’t—”

#dean prayed to cas #at first he thought that maybe cas could hear him #maybe he was just too busy to respond or tied up or something #so he prayed to him #asking him where he was #asking him to not be dead #but after a month #dean gave up #he knew that cas couldn’t hear him #so he started praying to him as a comfort #he’d tell cas stories about when he was a kid #he’d tell him how his mom used to always say angels were watching over him#he’d tell him things that he’d never dream of telling sam #and it was a comfort to him #because he thought cas couldn’t hear him #but cas heard every word #and so here #dean realises #everything he said #even that quiet little confession that he knew he’d never say out loud #cas heard it #and he just… #it hurts dean even more because after everything he told cas unintentionally #cas can’t even look him in the eye